NOT going to college was NOT an option for me in my home. I remember that my sisters and I were not allowed to pick the “Skip College and Go to Career” option when playing The Game of Life.
I think it’s absolutely wrong that most 18-year-olds are pressured with picking something they want to major in and do for the rest of their lives. Most people would not force their 18-year-old to marry in America. We’d tell them they’re too young, but when it comes to picking a career choice somehow it’s completely acceptable to think that a child understands enough about themselves to pick a career they’re going to want to wake up to every day.
Growing up I was really sheltered, REALLY REALLY SHELTERED. I was homeschooled, I didn’t have really any neighborhood friends (because I started getting picked on as to why I wasn’t allowed to go to a public school), and my only other form of social interaction with the outside world was my church….which isn’t the best example of what real life is like *thank God*. Being the oldest in my family, I didn’t have many years of play and was given a lot of responsibility. I helped my mother with her home daycare, I often was expected to teach myself in home school, I was asked to help my sisters, I was expected to do chores beyond what was normal because chores often tied in with the daycare. It was a lot for a kid. I didn’t have time to play really. I knew I liked art and writing, but beyond that, there wasn’t much exploration of my life unless it could be done in the confines of my home.
As graduation approached the pressure to chose a career was heavy and it caused me a lot of stress. I wanted to take a year off to just get my bearings, but my parents weren’t going to have anything of it. I was able to get into a University (with a scholarship), but I still had no idea what I wanted to major in *because I hadn’t gotten to understand what I even wanted in life*. My mother wanted me to be a doctor, but the truth is, I know for a fact that wouldn’t have made me happy. The pressure I felt between the desire to find something I loved and could live with as my major coupled with my parents pressuring me to be a doctor lead to some severe depression. I stopped going to class and eventually dropped out with the promise that I would eventually go back….12 years later that hasn’t happened.
I recently thought of going back to get a degree in psychology, only to find myself crying in my therapists office saying things like “This isn’t coming from a place of ‘I want a degree for me’ but rather to insulate myself from all the negative life things that may or may not happen in my life if I DON’T get a degree!”.
So what is my first piece of advice:
