We have been spending LOTS of time at home, and that has affected people in different ways. In today’s post, I’m going to talk a little about how the home is a reflection of our own psychology as well as talk about a really awesome book I’ve read recently called “The House Witch” by Arin Murphy-Hiscock. If you’ve found your time at home tainted or downright awful because you’ve been stuck in it for so long, this post is FOR YOU!
The home is so much more than walls and a roof. It’s literally an outward manifestation of what your mind is like. For example, I LOVE watching a show called Hoarders. If you don’t know what hoarding is, it’s when a person has an unhealthy attachment to keeping and acquiring things. Sometimes those things will be broken, or be actual trash like rotting food or biohazard but the person dealing with hoarding will insist that it’s valuable. Often times these people risk being fined by their town, losing the ability to live in their home, or even needing to have the home demolished because of the damage that rats, mold, or structural problems caused by the hoard can bring!
Hoarders can hoard for many reasons but usually, it’s due to some sort of trauma: empty nest syndrome, a divorce, childhood abuse, mental or physical illness, or even just living in the past (not wanting to give up memories) or living in the future (One day I might need this), or even not wanting to accept and move on from the failures in their lives (I’ll complete that project one day when I have the right tools, time, etc.). You don’t have to be a hoarder to have a bad relationship with your home though!
I am under the belief that a lot of “Haunted Houses” are just homes, that just like a person, have developed a bad reputation. I went through a pretty dark time in my life a few years ago and I definitely felt like my house was haunted. It felt dark no matter how many lights I had on. There were certain rooms that just felt icky. I started to see my therapist around the same time and I remember her telling me “Heather, it’s not the house that is haunted… it’s your mind“. She was absolutely right. I was pretty angry, depressed, and really wasn’t thinking big for my life. The idea of having a blog this big was WAY out of my mind. However, as I started to heal emotionally and deal with traumas the house lightened, and when I made it a point to start working on this blog and a store and Youtube videos and just living my best life, my home really became my friend! To be honest, when the quarantine happened and we were all asked to stay in our homes, I was happy to have so much time in a space I felt at peace with. A quote from the house witch was by Denise Linn, author of Sacred Space, says ” Homes are symbolic representations of ourselves, and in fact in a deeper sense are extensions of ourselves”.
I’ve been reading this fantastic book called “The House Witch“. I don’t identify with being Wiccan or Pagan but the more I research their perspective the more I am starting to see how close it ties in with just good healthy psychology!
The book, while it has some spells and rituals, talks a lot about things like mindfulness or how to cleanse a room which on a psychological level might be really useful if you find a room or even the entire house traumatic.
One section was called “The Power of Basic Needs” which explained that we all have basic needs to be clothed and have food and shelter. If you have those needs met, you are not just enabling yourself, but those you live with to worry about other things higher up on their list. So for example, if you don’t feel safe at your home, that can affect how you rest, which can affect how you are at work, which can affect how much you make and how well you’re able to eat! If you live in a safe home all those other things are going to fall in place and since you feel secure you might consider going after your dreams!
Japan really understands how special and even sacred a home can be. They have people remove their shoes which can represent leaving the worries and problems of the outside world at the door. They even may have a single step into the rest of the house to symbolize stepping into a higher, more sacred space separate from the world you came from. Sounds relaxing, right? BUT THAT’S HOW HOME IS SUPPOSED TO FEEL! Home is supposed to feel like a safe refuge you can return to!
Amin and I both grew up in tough homes and now as adults, we have found it difficult to not reenact the traumas that we grew up with. This is pretty common. It’s why someone might have an alcoholic parent and then find themselves later in life an alcoholic. Traumas are bound to repeat themselves until they are properly dealt with and moved through. If you grew up in a home that was difficult you can almost bet money that until you recognize and releasing it (which means understanding, mourning, and actually releasing them by understanding how it’s impacted you and then going after what you want) you are bringing that into your current space!
This book talks about how to heal those issues through meditation, being in the moment, and even incorporating rituals and spells if that gives you a better visual of what you’re letting go. When my mother passed away, I found it healing to write her a letter and release a pink balloon in her honor. The rituals and spells in this book are suggestions. If you don’t want to have an altar or pick a home diety or do spells or rituals that is ABSOLUTELY OKAY! The whole point of this book is to show you how important it is for you to connect with yourself and allow that to influence your home. Being spiritual or religious can certainly help, but so can understanding your psychology and making your own rituals that heal you and help you plan for a good and healthy future!
This book also had some other really cool things including mindfulness tips, food recipes, soap recipes, pot-pourri’s, and much more. For such a little book, I really enjoyed it and while I personally don’t really want to pick a house diety, learning about them and understanding why some people do was really interesting! So if you’re looking to deepen your spirituality, or if you like me are looking to understand the psychology and symbology of the home, this is an excellent book to start out with. Arin Murphy-Hiscock has also written accompanying books such as The Green Witch and The Witch’s Book of Self-Care.
Hopefully, this book and what I’ve told you is helpful. If you don’t have the best connection to your home, or even if you think it’s downright scary, that’s okay! There is hope and you can improve your situation. If you want to talk about it more, please leave me a comment below. I really love talking about the more mental aspect of the home and what can be done! Also if you’d like to be notified of future posts like this one, or be entered into giveaways please SIGN UP HERE, If you’d like to visit my SHOP or Buy Me a Coffee, I would appreciate you investing in my small business! I’d like to leave you again with what my therapist said: before you think your house is haunted, ask yourself if you’re the one haunting the home with your emotions and past traumas. If you deal with those, your home is bound to start feeling a lot better! -Heather Astaneh