The end of the year is when most people look back on their accomplishments (or otherwise) and start planning new things for the next year and I am no different. This is my last post of the year too! So I’m going to talk about my wins and fails and what I’ve learned along the way. To be honest, this year has been such a big win for me. I’ve learned so much and I’m excited to share it all with you.
Okay, so let’s talk about the thing no one wants to talk about when goals are set…Let’s talk about FAILURE! Let’s talk about why failure is a good thing..yeah, that’s right….failure is good.
So by now, I think you’ve probably figured out that I didn’t accomplish my goal of losing weight this year. I yo-yo’ ed a little, but any major lifestyle change didn’t happen, and THAT’S OKAY! Let me tell you why:
YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL AT SOMETHING AT SOME POINT IN YOUR LIFE…But you’re not alone in that.
There are tons of quotes and people who have failed and failed and failed and their persistence eventually won them success. There is a graduation speech I listen to every time I start feeling down. It’s by Denzel Washington and he said something that I try to remind myself of every time I fail at a goal. He said something like ‘I never understood the concept of having something to fall back on. If I fail, I want to fall forward’. The idea is to learn from your failures. A failure without a lesson is all the pain, guilt, and shame of the failure. If you are able to find the lesson in the failure, if you have learned something, that can give you the strength to stand back up again and move forward having been better for the failure than worse off.
So what have I learned by failing at my weight loss goal?
1.) I learned how much emotions play into a goal: If you’re not emotionally invested in losing weight, you won’t. I wasn’t emotionally invested in it. In the past, I worked out for the wrong reason, and while I lost weight and looked great, I didn’t feel great. I didn’t celebrate my accomplishments, or who I was. My value was based on a number, and not very holistic. I eventually burned out and then I ate everything. So thinking about losing weight again means I now have to think harder about what that really means on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL.
2.) You can’t base your health on someone else: Being on the internet it’s easy to feel the pressure to look like you have it all together. It’s easy to start thinking “If I was thinner, people would like me more” but the truth is when I was super skinny people liked me about the same. It wasn’t how I looked, it was who I am that attracted people. Also, if you’re trying to lose weight for your parents, your spouse, your kids, or anyone else but you, IT WON’T WORK!!!! Because what happens if that person just doesn’t care or has no concept of how hard you just worked out? Well then it will make YOU feel bad, and it could very well derail your goals. You have to do it for you and only you.
3.) Find something you love: For me, I don’t really enjoy lifting weights. I can, I’ve done it before, and it’s very good for you, but I’ve found that this time around with weight loss, I like company, so I’ve started participating in free classes at my gym, like Zumba or yoga. That way I get some positive socializing in, as well as a good workout.
Next year, I’ll probably still have this on my goals list, but I feel better equipt to work on it.
Guys!!! This is my last post of the year! This was a goal I accomplished! I feel so proud. I don’t often feel proud of myself so I’m really trying to take this feeling in.
To be honest, I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it. I have had this blog for a while and I’ve never been as consistent with my posts as I have been this year. I went from 3 people on my mailing list to 39 and I have on average 100 readers every week. I grew my Instagram from 100 or so followers to 1,584. So for those of you who keep up with my blog, I really want to say from the bottom of my heart “thank you!”. I hope you’ve been entertained and inspired by my posts. I truly hope that in some way I’ve brought some light into your lives a little.
This blog, for me personally, has saved me from depression in so many ways. I’m being absolutely serious. It’s given me a purpose. As a little girl, my dream (partly inspired by a documentary I watched about Betrix Potter) was to grow up to be an artist and a writer. I’m so thankful I’ve had the opportunity and will to pursue this dream. My blog has pushed my comfort zones. I’ve cooked things I never thought I’d cook. I’ve made things I never thought I’d make, and I’ve learned so much about marketing, SEO’s, making YouTube videos, coming out of my comfort zone to do interviews and socialize with those who reach out to me.
I love it and I really can’t wait for next year when I UP my number of posts to Monday, Wednesday and Friday! I can’t wait for what next year is going to bring! Thank you again to all of my lovely readers. Thank you for the love, the support and encouragement you offer me.
This has improved immensely. For those of you who haven’t followed my blog for very long, I am currently being stalked and harassed by my town’s USPS. You can read all about it HERE.
When you deal with stalking, it can be scary and that really tainted my home. I didn’t feel comfortable going into my kitchen because that was a place my stalker would often time driving by. We even have a video from our home surveillance (that we set up because of this person) showing his truck driving by at 6:30 at night…and you can see the flash of him taking pictures…It got to a point where I wasn’t comfortable making dinner and I even boarded up my windows for a few months at the worst of it.
Is this person still stalking me? Yes. Is our case still active in Federal Court? Yep, but through my therapist, I have learned how to not let it stop me from living my life. Nothing would make my stalker happier than to dull my shine, and I’m not going to let that happen.
So it was a lot of work, but I started all over with healing my home and loving where I live again.
I’m extremely proud to say I feel back to normal if not stronger than I used to be. I cook, I’m able to hang out in my livingroom again without fear, I leave my home freely and live my life. My home feels more loved and cared for. It’s cleaner, and I’ve learned how to make it a sanctuary despite everything. One thing I really enjoyed when the weather wasn’t so cool was meditating in the morning on my porch. There was a time when the window to my backyard was blocked out, so the ability to sit out there, smelling the fresh morning air and being able to close my eyes and meditate would have been panic-inducing. I’m so happy I have my life back despite what is still going on.
Two out of three goals aren’t too shabby. I’m pretty happy about that. Weight loss isn’t everything and as long as I’m making some progress, it’s good progress.
Again, to all of you new and old I thank you for visiting and happy holidays too! I love talking with my followers so feel free to leave a comment below, and I wish you all the best for next year! -Heather Astaneh