What to do on a Motherless Mother’s Day

I remember when it happened. It was my first year up here in Massachusetts and I was walking through the Macy’s at Burlington Mall when this very sweet middle age lady in the perfume section asked me if I had remembered to get something nice for my mother for Mother’s Day.

It wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have known that just a year and a handful of months ago I had been at my mother’s funeral.

I smiled though and told her that I already got my mother something really nice and thanked her. I lied….because I didn’t know what else to say…this was mother’s day, without my mother.

Misery enjoys company and thankfully, I’ve found that I’m not alone and if you’re in the same position as I then you’re not alone either, but it’s hard to know what to do on a day where your TV, radio and social media all talk about such a painful thing. It’s been nine years since then and I’ve had time to think about what to do in this weird situation. I hope that the following tips make things a bit easier and help you to show love and respect for the woman who brought you into this world, while also offering you the comfort of closure.

I like this idea a lot and did something similar recently. I wrote a letter to my mother and thanked her for all that she taught me, and how far I’ve come in my life. I wrote the letter exactly as if I would be sending it to her. After that, I folded it up and planted it in the dirt along with some wildflower seeds. When they blossom it’s a nice way to remember the letter I sent her and to imagine her spirit sending me flowers filled with love in return.

This is another one I have tried and love. I bought balloons in pink and a carnation. I tied the carnation to the balloons and released it. It was nice seeing it float up into the sky with my little gift.

My mother was a really caring person. She cooked for the sick women in our church, she volunteered and would help anyone. This doesn’t just mean people! Spending time at an animal shelter is always appreciated and not only do you help people, but the animals can help lift your spirits as well especially if this is a difficult time for you. If you can’t recall what your mother would have done, then just set out with the intention that whatever kind thing you do for others on this day is in her memory because after all she raised you and you have a good heart.

In the same vein as doing acts of kindness, if your mother supported a cause, or perhaps there’s a cause you’d like to make a donation to in her name this is also a fantastic idea! This also has an alternative. It doesn’t have to be money. My mother donated blood regularly so I often like to donate blood or platelets in her name.

I love this idea. Often the elderly are overlooked and for some, their families live too far away to visit. Buying some flowers and passing them out at the nursing home is always a kind gesture and they love the company! My mother use to take my sisters and I fairly regularly to a retirement home and I learned so much from the people I met!

Buy yourself something nice in her honor: The first mother’s day without your mom can be a tough one, and perhaps your heart is just not into going out and doing stuff. If this is the case, please don’t be hard on yourself. Your mom wouldn’t have wanted it to be that way either, so do what you need to to help yourself feel stable during this time. Schedule a meeting with your therapist, go out and buy yourself a treat, make yourself a nice dinner, journal about your feelings, go to church if that helps sooth you. Take good care of yourself and be compassionate and remember it’s completely okay to cry no matter how long it’s been.

Has this helped you? If you tried any of these or you have another way to remember your mother on Mother’s day, feel free to talk about it in the comments or tag me on your Instagram posts! If you would like to be notified when I post again please SIGN UP for email notifications and if you would like exclusive content into my life then feel free to follow my social media’s listed on the sidebar! – Heather Astaneh